Confessions of Me!

Jayden Alexander Joesph-Sowell

2008-11-15T07:41:00.000-08:00

On 11/13/08 at 8:23am Jayden Alexander Joesph-Sowell was born.

I'm a proud God mother :D

I'm going to love him like he is my own.

I VOTED

2008-11-04T13:24:00.000-08:00

I stood in line for an hour.

I waited patiently with other to vote.

I walked up to the poll workers.

I gave my name.

I walked to the polls.

I voted the best choice.

I VOTED for Barack Obama!

I turned my ballot in.

I received my "I VOTED" sticker.

I am a VOTER! And it feels DAMN GOOD, to know that I have a voice to be heard.

The IMPORTANCE of November 4, 2008

2008-11-03T19:14:00.000-08:00

TOMORROW is an EXTREMELY important day.

Its an important day for all Americans across the United States.

It is a time for CHANGE.

TOMORROW will be an HISTORIC day NOT only because we have a African American Nominee running for president but because he WILL be our next president for the next 4 years and i am pushing for 8. And I say this with confidence.

Barack Obama speaks the truth.

All the questions he is asked are always answered in a legit manner.

When Obama speaks he speaks to all Americans...black, white, hispanic, asian, etc. democrat, republican, rich, or poor as if he was having a personal conversation with them.

Barack Obama always gets his points across. And I believe he has GREAT plans for this country.

THIS country will be much better with Barack Obama as our president.

BARACK OBAMA FOR PRESIDENT!!!!!! HE IS OUR FUTURE. HE IS OUR CHANGE. HE IS OUR RIGHT PRESIDENT FOR THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.

I AM A TRUE SUPPORTER OF BARACK OBAMA. AND I WILL BE VOTING AND STANDING IN LINE TOMORROW MORNING.

PLEASE REMEMBER NOT TO WEAR ANY OBAMA SHIRTS, PENS, HATS, ETC. TO THE POLLS TOMORROW BECAUSE THEY WILL NOT LET YOU VOTE!!!!!

SO GO OUT AND VOTE AND ENJOY THE HISTORIC DAY!!!!

its been a while!

2008-08-20T11:03:00.000-07:00

The summer is almost over!
noooooooo :-(

Summer 2008 was very interesting
Learned a lot about people and who we call friends.

I want to give a shout out to my bestfriend KIY! Even though we didnt spend a lot of time with eachother this summer because of our crazy work schedules but i promise you i will be in Merced with you one weekend to mess up your apartment. And summer 2009 will be even better because we will both be driving...FINALLY...lol...Kiy i LOVE you with all my heart and you are always there for me no matter what. But anyway winter, spring, and summer break we are going to have fun!

Summer 2008 i met a bunch of new people
i have grew to adore.

Summer 2008 i learned a lot about myself
i learned what i want to acheive in my life time
i am determined better grades this up incoming year.

Summer 2008 i FINALLY got my LINCENSE! lmao and will be getting my car TOMORROW...yay im so excited!

im so ready for 2009 because i'm definetly will be making some changes.

Experience

2008-07-10T10:33:00.000-07:00

We Do Not Truly Understand...

Joy...until we face sorrow.

Faith...until it is tested.

Peace...until faced with conflict.

Trust...until we are betrayed.

Love...until it is lost.

Hope...until confronted with doubts.

Then when faced with these things, we arrive at a place deeper than mental understanding.

It is a place called experience.

Experience then brings knowing......and we come to know joy, faith, peace, trust, love, and hope beyond all doubt.

Then we can share these blessings as the most valuable gifts we have to give.

this man is so fucked up but the shit is Hilarious! lmao

2008-06-18T15:41:00.001-07:00

LMAO!!!!!

LOL!!!

ROFL!!!

HAHAHA!!!

"settle down settle down"
"hola beaners"

SMH...this man...

He is a Free Man! Ha!

2008-06-13T20:06:00.000-07:00

ATTENTION!!!!

ROBERT KELLY KNOWN AS R. KELLY IS NOT GOING TO JAIL!

HE IS OFFICIALLY A FREE MAN...AFTER 6 YEARS OF GOING TO TRIAL...HA!

I ALWAYS KNEW HE WASNT GOING TO GO TO JAIL BECAUSE NEVER IN THE HISTORY OF RAPE CASES DOES IT TAKE THIS LONG TO REACH A VERDICT. LOL. SHAME

2008-06-12T21:06:00.000-07:00

i am so off the lakers foreal!!! like how in the fuck do you blow a 24 point lead? but then again the lakers proved it is possible tonight...smh

even though i am off the lakers for the rest of this season i still love my boo trevor ariza he is "TOO BOMB" lol

WoW...wtf is your PROBLEM?

2008-06-10T14:35:00.000-07:00

Dear ,

i have never in my life met anyone so selfish, spoiled, jealous in my life until i met you. you getting mad over something so MEANINGLESS is so fucking retarded. i have always been there for you through everything. you did me so wrong twice now, and i highly doubt that it will be a third time. you call yourself my best friend and you throw a fit over something so stupid? i always forgave you! i forgave you for the time you ditched me at my on dinner party and i forgave you for this Saturday. but i know what kind of person you are now i guess. and you think that because i don't have a car i use you...that is a NO NO sweetie. i DERESHA A. RICHARDSON do NOT rely or depend on anybody. i survived 19 years on my own with no car. i have NEVER asked you for anything. but when i did ride with you somewhere i ALWAYS offered to buy you gas, i would put 20 to 30$ in your tank alone. i don't see anyone else putting in on your gas BUT ME. but if that's how you feel, and you feel that i use you just because you have a car that is so SAD. Another thing, you got mad at the fact that i hung out with another friend of mine on the day we planned to go to six flags, well that isn't my fault! i called you all Friday i aimed and texted you and you didn't respond. i even waited around that Saturday for you to call to either say we are going or we are not...i wouldn't had mined if you were to tell me you didn't want to go anymore, but you should have told me something but you didn't. so i decided to go out with someone else, because i refuse to sit in my house on a SATURDAY a day i don't have to work. and you mentioned that i never invite you to tag along with my other friends...well maybe its because i DO NOT have a car and maybe because IT'S NOT MY CAR to just invite you into someone elses car if you don't even know each other. i wouldn't have mind if i had a car, because i would go pick up everyone but since i don't then i cant do that. AND YOUR MAD AT WHAT NOW? Is it because i have other friends? Is it because i like to hang out with other people? Is it because I'm not "relying" on you to take me anywhere (because that's not the 1st time you ditched me)? YOUR MAD FOR NO REASON AT ALL!!! and the way your acting now is going to lead you into not having any friends at all, that's the harsh reality.

Confessions of ME!

Time for a celebration!

2008-06-05T09:13:00.000-07:00

Yes!

it feels so good to be done with school and finals. i finished my black psychology paper, passed all my classes, and aced my spanish final. :D

now it is time to celebrate and get my summer started...yay! FINALLY

im suprised how fast my first year of college flew by.

i am so ready for next year...and i will do WAY better next year than this year!!!!!

yay but nay

2008-06-03T22:32:00.000-07:00

im excited this is my last week of school but ugh that means i have finals. really the only final im really worried about is my black psychology final, which is to write a minimum of 9 pages 0n three articles we can choose from (3 pages for each article) but the pages always end up to be 5 to 6 pages for each article because there is so much information to be included. UGH! im supposed to be working on that now but i can not think of anything to put on this DAMN paper. i want to give up so bad but i cant because ive worked so hard all semester to keep my grade up in the class but i dont know why this paper seems like its the hardest, even though ive been writing papers all semester. i just want to just get it over with but i want it to be a perfect paper because its my final impression to please the teacher with my work. but once i finish i will be happy because i can finally enjoy my summer that is until i start summer school WHOMP! man this school thing is kinda getting on my nerves and its only my first year...smh...but hey i have to stick with it, i cant give up now, i have to graduate and go on to graduate school. i need to make the good money so i can start to make a difference in my life, my family's lives, and others lives. i just need to keep my head up and do what i have to do i guess.

ewww Gross

2008-05-16T13:09:00.000-07:00

i really believe dennis rodman has LOST his damn mind.

does he not realize he will never be a pretty woman if he was never that cute as a man? lol

wtheck is wrong with him? he should just lock himself in a closet FOREVER!

he looks disgusting!!!!!!

Emotional Break

2008-05-10T10:04:00.000-07:00

its been a rough week for me

-boy drama

-stupid rat mouth little girl drama

-22nd anniversary of my Granny's death

-dealing with STUPID co-workers i can't stand

-the stress of school

just an emotional wreck this week...ive never thought i would ever get this emotional again but all the things that has been goin on in my life reminded me of my past which caused me to have an emotional break down...but im fine now

i think i want to write a book now...i feel like if i could write this all in a Blog then i could write it in a book...call it the Confessions of Me

Why?

2008-05-09T09:46:00.000-07:00

Why is it when I put my HEART and SOUL into something it NEVER works, for example relationships. I know that people have good and bad relationships but I never seem to get/have a good relationships only the bad ones. and why is it that I could help my friends and give them on what they should do in a relationship but I keep fucking keep one...wtf! Its like when I get into a relationship I always put my best fot forward, I do basically everything a girlfriend is supposed to do with her boyfriend but it seems not to work that way. I just want to know what I do wrong? Because before I get into a relationship or about to develop one I ask the guy what does he like in a girl and what is a perfect girlfriend he would want and try my hardest to abid by what he looks for in a girl but doesn't work. Its like guys ALWAYS want the girl they say "they wouldn't" date but still whines up dating that person. I try my hardest to be the best girlfriend: I'm faithful, patient, loving, respectful, cute, nice, loyal, trustworthy, and the list goes on but I'm assuming that guys aren't into that. So as of right now I'm just like F the whole dating scene right now I'm focusing on ME, SCHOOL, and MONEY!

Confessions of ME

Confessions Part 2

2008-05-08T16:28:00.000-07:00

Have you ever wanted to express yourself to the world or maybe just a close friend but just couldn't because you are afriad of what they will say or how they may judge you? That's how I feel 60% of the time. And its sucks. I know as bestfriends we are not supposed to with hold secrets from eachother but sometimes these secrets are just too deep, hard to explain, embarassing, and sometimes just don't have the guts to tell. I love all my friends, all the people I've encountered over the past few years, everyone that's in my life or has ever been in my life and truly without them I wouldn't be the person I am today. My life has been very hard, I've made some bad decisions, I've through stuff no one could EVER imagine, but I try to put that aside and try not to let it show. But sometimes its hard. I want to let it out to the world but I can't. And I've realized the more and more I get older I think about the things I've been through and decisions I made, and sometimes I just want to cry. But in the back of my head I realized I'm not that bad of a person that I thought I would be.

Confessions of Me

2008-05-07T13:57:00.000-07:00

a place that relaxes me and releases all my stress

i love the beach! i will be there a lot this summer!

My letter to you

2008-05-06T19:01:00.000-07:00

Dear ,

I've went through so much shit growing up and being able to trust guys PERIOD. Shit happened in my life that only one of my bestfriends know about (1 out of 8 of my bestfriends). But I don't blame you for anything...we live and we learn and I just want to learn where I went wrong!I know that you are going through a lot right now. I understand your young and everyone has these imoments in life. I Do understand how it is to be hurt. I understand how it is to feel not wanted. I know how it feels to lose a bestfriend. I know it is to be angry, upset, mad, and pissed off to the point where you just don't give a FUCK. I KNOW and UNDERSTAND! But you saying fuck everything and everyone is not worth it. Honestly yea your mom may have kicked you out, but yet she is still there to support you. Yes you and your dad don't get along to well and yall fight everyday, but at least he was man enough to take you in. My dad has has never been there for me! He hurt me as a child mentally and physically! I haven't heard from him in years. He has NEVER done anything to help me nor my brother or sister. At one point of my life I was homeless for about 2 months moving from house to house. I will HATE my father for NEVER being there, doing what he did to me, and not being a father! Your parents tell you things so you won't make the same mistakes they made, and yes you might not make them but they are not just telling you to get on your nerves they are telling you so you can be a BETTER person than what they are, that's their job as parents to protect you and do what's best for you. And yet you may not understand this now but later will understand. I mean look on the brighter side at least you have both parents in your life when I only have my mom to be the mother and the father.

The Confessions of ME

**CRYING**

.....pretty much blank.....

2008-05-01T13:58:00.000-07:00

Dazed and Confused!

Chocolate Rain? lmao

2008-04-22T17:01:00.001-07:00

this is too funny

doesnt he look like Janet Jackson as penny when she was younger...lol on good times...lmao

Soulja Boy

2008-04-18T09:25:00.001-07:00

this has to be the funniest video...lol

and they say asians can not dance?

OmGsh

2008-04-16T14:31:00.000-07:00

Im going to be a God MommY!!!!

A new beginning

2008-04-10T23:04:00.000-07:00

i am so HAPPY right now!!!!!!

there are no other words to explain the feeling

ive found what ive been looking for

He is my King and definetly treats me like his Queen. He is the guy i have always wanted he listens, respectful, caring, nice, knows and goes after what he wants, loving, puts his women first, outgoing, funny, down to earth, honest, and best of all we are like bestfriends. I feel like i could talk to him about any and everything. I havent smiled so much in a long time. He always knows the right things to make me smile. He is my heart!

m3: What makes me different from the other girls you've dated and why did you wana make me your "bust it baby" aka "your lil fatty"?

Him:Wat makes you different is that you like me for me and I feel like I can tell you anything and after your still gonna feel the same about mee ...your different by the way you carry yourself there's a different look in your eyes frm other girls( when I look in your eyes I see sum1 that cares for me and feels the same as I feel for her.

Him: Your ma bust it baby becuz if you really hear the words in the songs its just you and tells how I feel for you

Him: Your ma lil fatty becuz I'm small and I need sum meat to fall bac on and that's wat I think of you sumtimes that your ma fat ( in a good way) and when sumthing goes wrong or I'm fall'n I feel that your always gonna be there for me when I need you

m3: OMGsh (kissy face)

watching those jaws drop

2008-04-10T22:54:00.000-07:00

so i was on my way to the beach today and i saw my ex boyfriend (random)

the look on his face was a KODAK moment. he was so suprised to see me looking like that, b/c he never saw me dressed like that before.

so i was nice and said hi and got in the car and he was yelling at me to come talk to him but i didnt have time for that. he lost out on his chance so o well

but his face was priceless...lol

uh yea...

2008-04-08T20:55:00.000-07:00

OMGsh i have the BiGGEST headache ever!!! Feels like my brain is going to explode...lol...

oMgsh today was awesome! Ran into an old buddy. Talked for awhile, met new people, shopped, ate, simple but fun.

not much to talk about really so ima just end this post now. lol

j smoov [keith sweat-nobody]

2008-04-02T16:49:00.001-07:00

now....smh...i have ZERO words...lol

Charlie bit my finger - again !

2008-04-02T16:12:00.001-07:00

BLOOD!!!

2008-04-02T16:08:00.001-07:00

Blood!!!

its not fuuunnnnnyyyy!!!!

his dad is mean for laughing at him...smh

My first Tattoo

2008-03-30T20:14:00.000-07:00

YES guys i got my first tattoo yesterday. I was supposed to get it Thursday but i chickened out so i decided to go back and suck that shit up and just get it over with. So I'm in the chair waiting for my tattoo artist to set up and my stomach starts to bubble because i was so freaking nervous...lol...as soon as he put the needle or gun or whatever it is called to my skin i started to flint ch but i was like i better not cuz if he messes up ima be PISSED. But come to find out it didn't even hurt, it felt kind of good actually. lol

i was at the tattoo shop from 12 to 5 because Kiy decided to get the biggest tattoo...sheesh...but i give her props because that was a long process without her crying...lol...and for her first tatt she went hard and got it big...lol

but anyway tatts are fun I'm thinking about what my next tatt will be...lol

I am so PROUD of myself

2008-03-21T11:24:00.000-07:00

After all the stressing about writing my Black Psychology paper in a week (he only gave us a week to do it, so no i didn't wait til the last minute) i received an A 150/150 PERFECT score!!

i was in class Tuesday and at the end of the class he told to class to stay he has the Essays to hand back...my heart dropped i was so scared because i felt that i bs'ed the whole essay but i guess i had some clue of what i was talking about....lol

so basically i have been celebrating since Tuesday...lol because when i go on spring break i will be writing another essay for that class...o jolly i cant wait (sad face) so basically I'm trying to have as much fun as possible.

AND YES I'M FINALLY GOING TO GET A TATTOO!!!! lol

Superman

2008-03-15T09:30:00.000-07:00

So i went to Urbandictionary.com and wanted to find out what superman meant in Soulja Boys song (b/c i was bored). So superman means.....

Superman is when a guy cums on a girl's back and puts a sheet on her back. When she wakes in the morning and the sheet is stuck to her back, you have officially supermanned that hoe.

That shit is fucking Gross.

And Supersoak is...to ejaculate on someone. making someone drip in cum as if soaked with a super soaker.

OMG Soulja boy is like 16 years old talkin about cumming on a girls back...wtf...nasty ass nigga.

just an interesting fact

Finally Finished!!!

2008-03-12T22:56:00.000-07:00

i finally finished my Black Psychology paper yay me!! shit it took me damn near FOREVER!!

im just glad im DONE

now i just hope i get a Decent grade on it

Chris Brown bs. Omarion

2008-03-09T20:27:00.000-07:00

So the other day at school i was having a debate with my friends about Chris Brown and Omarion. We were judging them by their looks; voice, dancing, and creativity. I am a true believe that Chris Brown was ALWAYS better than Omarion. And yes Omarion was cool at one point but know this nigga has disappeared off the face of the planet. Does anybody know where Omarion is? lol All i know is Omarion needs to come with it and get a NEW vocal coach...lol

But what do you guys think over all who is better Chris Brown or Omarion ?

VS.

i Love my Friends

2008-03-09T19:03:00.000-07:00

I love all friends. They are my heart. I will do anything for these people. They are the reason why i am who i am today

Kiy is the Bestest Friend i have. She has been there through all my drama, crying, laughter, random moments, etc. She is thee BOMB. I love her with all my heart. She is like a sister to me. I am truly lucky to have you as a friend. Man we had so many fun times together, especially with Justin, Niki, George, Billy, Sani, and Clair. Remember the time we got lost after we left Access and we almost died on our way to Access..lmao...jokes for days...and Justin taking us to Lake Elsinore...lmao omg so much fun. I love her!

Ester is also my Bestest Friend i have. She is my Ride or Die, my Bonnie and Clyde (I'm bonnie), partner in crime, my sister from another mother, my love. Ester and i been friends since 7th grade. She always kept it real with me, and i believe that everyone needs a Friendd like that. I could tell Ester anything and i know for a fact that nothing i tell her will be told to anyone else. Ester is my heart my sister for life, and if anything were to happen to her i don't know what i would do. I love her!

Clair is my Favorite Bestie. She is like a older sister i never had. She is so BOMB...lol...There are no words to describe how much i love her. i can count on her for anything. i know she will always have my back even when im in the wrong. Clair is the person that i could talk to her about anything with at anytime of the day(as well as Ester) except when Clair is eating....lol...cuz she is a fat ass. Clair will be my boo for life 4 sure.

Hisani is a Bestie as well. Even tho she could be a PAIN at times because we are TOTAL OPPOSITES...lol...i still love her. I've known this girl since Elementary. We been friends so long she is like an annoying little sister (at times) lol. Besides that i love this girl through all her drama and everything we been through. All i know is that when we fight and stop talking for about a week we will eventually start talking and start being the bestest of friends we are. Interesting fact, Hisani and I have been going to every single school together : Elementary, 2 middle schools, high school , college, and we are both trying to transfer to Howard University together. We have big plans for the future. I love her crazy ass...lol

Justin is the Best...I truly love this boy with all my heart. he is like my little brother. i never met anyone in my life that has ever made me laugh so hard in my life. We have so many fun times together. Its never boring when Justin is around. We've have so many adventures in the Beast Mobile...lol...times we almost died times we got lost etc. Justin is the BEST i really love him and he will be leaving me next year to go to college...i dont know what im going to do without him.

George and Darrell. These boys have always been there for me. Even though we may not agree on some things i still love them for the people they are. They will the Hottest rap duo (Supreme). Even though me and George fought like everyday i still had great/fun memories with him. I love him. Darrell is the Bestest.`I love him. i could talk to him about anything. I've knew anybody that i could stay on the phone with til 7am and talk about absolutely nothing (i dont really like talking on the phone). i will do anything for them.

I Really LOVE all my friends and I'm thankful to have them in my life!

Häagen-Dazs Ice Cream Yum!!

2008-03-01T10:40:00.000-08:00

I LoVe Häagen-Dazs ice cream it is the best ice cream EVER. There is NO better...NOT even Coldstones. Vanilla Fudge brings you its inspired expression of this timeless sundae shop treat. Thick ribbons of rich chocolate fudge are swirled into creamy smooth vanilla ice cream.

Pineapple Coconut is THEE bomb...its Exotic taste will make you beg for more. I've liked Pineapple Coconut before until I had Häagen-Dazs.

And my last two favorite ice cream flavors are Chocolate and Cookies and Cream. OMG! There are no words to explain how much I LOVE this ice cream...

The Effects He Has on Me

2008-02-27T21:54:00.000-08:00

The effects you have on me drives me insane. You make me feel a certain way that i have never felt before. You make laugh the way I never laughed before. You make me smile the way I have never smiled before. Your love has effected me to the point that I love for the first time. But I guess what I am trying to say is....I LOVE YOU! and you have such an effected on me that drives me insane when your not around!

Ugh Work...i hate work but LOVE money

2008-02-22T15:27:00.000-08:00

Ugh i hate going to work. i don't do anything there but sit around all day and make my co workers do all the work...lol...naw but really my job isnt that bad if we didnt have lazy people in this world (too damn lazy to pick up a shoe) and my Manager UGH i cant stand that ol' peanut eatin elephant ass man, he works my nerves. He's always tellin me what i don't do but what i do do he doesn't say thank you or nice job or anything. My mexican(messy co-workers) DON'T GET ME WRONG I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST MEXICANS but the ones that work with me are so BITCHES. They always talkin shit and lazy as fuck. The only time i actually enjoy going to work is when im working with Whitney, Marques, Tasha, or Danny b/c they keep me laughing...lol

but yea working sux but it pays my bills

Friends

2008-02-22T15:09:00.000-08:00

Ive had so many friends over the past years. But now I only have 4 that i call my TRUE friends. I don't understand why people can act as your friends and when your not around they are talking shit about you. I don't understand how you can call me a friend but you are consistently lying to me. In order to have a stable friendship one must have Honesty, Trust, Loyalty, and Respect.

I try my hardest to cope with your neediness of attention but it seems like that's not enough. I give you my advice/opinion when its needed and wanted...I've always been there for you but like i said it must not be enough. But i came to an Conclusion i guess your just not happy with yourself...idk maybe? But whatever it is i hope you come to your senses soon so our friendship and go back to normal b/c we've been friends for too long to just stop now.

I just want my OLD friend back!

My Favorite Quotes

2008-02-22T08:42:00.000-08:00

"If God wanted women to Chase after men He would of made them Worth Chasing"

"If our to loves be 1 thou love so alike that none could 2nd none can tie"-Tristan and Isoilde

"Money on ma mind/ money is a habit/ stay on the grind until money is automatic/ bitch i love money/ im a fuckin fanatic" -complements to Weezy F.

"Don't let your happening destroy your happines"

"I must be one important person for my name to steadily come out your mouth"

"I love it I need more haters in my life because all it does is motivate me to do more things for you to hate on"

"NO! BlaCk SPOTS" lol (insider) stupid lady

"You are clearly a PsyCho that is filled with MooD SwiNgs"

"Damn lil WhoAdy" lmao (insider)

"LoVe me or HaTe me it's StiLL ObeSSion"

Feb. 22. 2008

2008-02-22T00:32:00.000-08:00

my first blog...lol

Feb.22.08n i s an important day b/c ive started my new life, and not b/c i made a blog. Today i've learned to leave the past in the past and pursue the future. I was talking to a new friend of mine and he was telling me i should focus on me and what i want instead of trying to fulfil someone elses happiness when im not fulfiled. But i honestly think im starting to fall for this guy. He always seems to say the right things to make me feel better. He is so nice, smart, and such a gentleman. He is a guy ive never met until now. At first i was kind of hesitate about talking to him b/c i felt i wasnt ready b/c i was letting my PAST stop me from my future, but i think that all changed today. I might just give my new friend a chance.